Royalty

If you can breathe in the cool night sky
And exhale it,
You have tasted the breath of God.
And for a second,
When I was with you,
I wanted to breathe
Take the deepest breath and breathe.
Cause you were the darkest night
You were the dream and the reality
You were the most crisp air
You were the most beautiful illusion of god
And I wanted a taste.
I wanted to look at the stars
And watch the sun rise with you.
I wanted to hear what you think
Look into your face and sink
In the deepest depths hidden in your eyes.
And … and… and…
Breathe.

And what a joke it was
Cause what I thought was breathing
Was actually suffocation
When I inhaled your scent
You actually held my breath
There I was turning black and blue
On the inside
On the inside
As you took the life from me.
I was in my feelings
So I didn’t notice my heart slowing down
I didn’t notice the poison you had slipped inside my soul
And two seconds from giving in
I noticed.

And it took all of me
All of me
To simply WANT
To leave you.
And I did.

I may have fallen for your looks
But like Winter transitions into Spring
My feelings for you changed with the seasons
I am no longer captivated by your smile
I can smell your bullshit from a mile
Away.
You are not the substance that gets me high
You are not the sunshine in your eyes
You are two truths and a lie.

I am off your high

And you can feel it
You know what I know
I do not NEED you.
Ever since I came to you with a dream,
And you gave me nothing.
Ever since you said “I will do better”
And you did nothing.
I stopped NEEDING you to breathe
Cause Royalty draws breath
Royalty speaks things into existence
Royalty captivates
Royalty leaves YOU breathless
Cause Royalty IS breathtaking.
Royalty takes its time
Royalty wears the universe as a crown
Royalty struts like the gods of ancient
Royalty is not put down
Royalty stands strong, fist in the air
Royalty is unbothered.
And in case you did not realize,
I am Royalty.

And I think it’s funny how my confidence intimidates you.

How all this honey and spice scares you
How this melanin threatens you
How these curves overwhelm your weak senses
How stating that my life matters
Kwamba maisha yangu yana umuhimu
Kwamba nafsi yangu ina thamani
Kwamba ngozi yangu ni ya kuheshimika
How stating that my life matters
Alarms you.
Maybe it’s because you have never met Royalty.

 

Tracy Eric Writes… about the disappointing American dream and men who don’t recognize ROYALTY.

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